by Linda Van Fleet

If you're like me you'll get a few invitations to weddings you simply must attend and you're caught in the age-old dilemma of choosing the right outfit to wear. Sometimes the invitation specifies black tie, casual, etc. That makes it easy! If the invitation doesn't give a clue as to whether the wedding is to be formal or informal, you can always call the bride (or groom) and simply ask.

Next, notice the location of the wedding. Is the setting of the wedding outdoors? Is it in a hot location? Will it be held in a temple, church, cathedral, country club? All of these will give you some idea of the attire that guests should wear.

What NOT to wear

1. Never wear anything that will upstage the bride. This usually means don't wear white! However, at a wedding I attended recently I was appalled at the attire of the mother of the groom. She wore a stunning black, backless evening gown in stark contrast to the bride's demure, white wedding gown. She was the only person there with an evening gown on. It was a church wedding and the bare shoulders and back seemed out of place in the sacred setting. She did get a lot of attention and you could sense the tension between the bride and her new mother-in-law.
2. Never wear jeans - unless the invitation specifies jeans.
3. Never wear a sexy, revealing outfit - again, you don't want to wear anything that will upstage the bride. It is her day. At the wedding mentioned above, the mother of the groom stood out like a pimple on a nose in her sexy, black evening gown at a church wedding. The bride was unhappy; the groom was livid. I certainly understand why!
4. Never wear ultra casual clothing (sweats, shorts, sneakers, etc.)
5. Never wear formal clothing to an informal wedding
6. (Men) never wear a Tux before 6:00 pm.

Dressing for the Wedding (for Her)

• Informal Day Wedding: Dress or suit (business suit okay for morning weddings). Fun, flowing clothing are best at an outdoors wedding. Keep it dressy with a light and airy feel. No dark blues or blacks here!
• Informal Evening Wedding: Wear anything you would normally wear when going out to dinner, the theater, a banquet, a tea.
• Semi-Formal Daytime: Short dress, suit, dressy dress, etc.
• Semi-formal Evening: Wear anything you would normally wear when going out to a cocktail party, dinner, the theater, a banquet, etc., keeping in mind you should not dress in a manner that upstages the bride - i.e., not too sexy, no beads or sequins, not white
• Formal Daytime: Short dress or suit. Hats and gloves optional.
• Formal Evening or Black-Tie: Wear a floor length, or short formal dress, accessorized with evening purse, formal jewelry and a wrap.
  

Dressing for the Wedding (for Him)

• Informal Daytime: Dress shirt and pants with a nice blazer.
  
• Informal Evening: Suit in charcoal or blues
• Semi-Formal Daytime: dressy dark suit
  
• Semi-Formal Evening: dressy dark suit
  
• Formal Daytime: Dark suit and tie
  
• Formal Evening: Tuxedo (if "black tie") or dark suit